Currently the main story in Kenya today is the recent utterance of the British envoy in Kenya, which have brought about an informal rhyme competition among scribes. So far I have read about twelve to fifteen such articles and we all hope that the ambassador will satisfy our hunger by launching a formal competition. Below is my take on the matter:
It was about lunch, time that I found myself near the British Embassy in Nairobi I was late for my appointment and had to wait until two to visit the office I intended. With time on my hands I passed the construction site of the new British Council being constructed by one Laxmanbhai. I have fond memories of the British Council, which I normally visited before dinner and also of their coffee shop, which to the regret of Kenyans has been closed for a while.
Laxmanbhai appears to be of Indian ancestry India has really added a generous share to Kenyan cuisine, foods such as Chapati, Chai and the daily stew which the British refer to as curry all originated from India.
There is also Bhajia a potato based snack that is quite exquisite when prepared well. Another mouthwatering snack is kebab a sausage with an egg covering. Indians have won a loyal kenyan following through the stomach.
There also the foods that the Mughals in their wealth and grandeur used to nimble such as the Biryani's and Mughlai's but since most of us are of humble status this are a bit past our palates.
However some of the coastal people of formerly princely stock have their similar equivalents one of which goes by the name of Pulau.
Walking to a nearby Kiosk I controlled my appetite and though they had a generous variety of fruit salad and roasted meats, I restricted myself to a soda.
Then there are the Oxfam lunches that Kenyans are said to love. Well there is a company at the Coast called Rea Vipingo that has free range chicken, a hardy but tastier variety that takes longer to cook but has a delectable soup, it is also a leading sisal and milk producer and there is also a district neighbouring Nairobi known for its stalled fed cattle but I did not know that we had Solomonic traits.
The books of Kings and Chronicles in the Bible talks of King Solomon developing distinct tastes as a result of his wealth. On his table were served both pasture fed and stall fed cattle as well as gazelles, antelopes or similar foods. Kenya has a few costly restaurants caterly to tourists offering such fare but it is the greatest compliment to compare our ways to those of Solomon, there are then certainly two or more kenyas.
It could be that the envoy was referring to Animal Farm a book about a farmer with feet of clay who was thrown out of his farm by a group of pigs. George Orwell the man who wrote the book also wrote one called 1984 an year that if I recall correctly has appeared in one of our previous articles. I am even thinking about putting it in my next article for August to be based on one Presbytarian educated James Ngugi, who is now Ngugi wa Thiongo.
There is also a Catholic educated Emilio who impressed James so much by changing his name to Mwai. Farms, pigs 1984, 84 all this can get quite bewildering if only our visitors could be more specific.
At two I finished my business and left but I was left musing that the current British envoy with the various projects ongoing may leave a greater legacy in Kenya than his native Britain. Perhaps he can retire to the Jockey club for suppers and cocktails I thought.
However last week he gave us such a verbal feast that perhaps when we enact a new constitution and reserve seats for minorities he should consider the post of Prime Minister. It was during the week that the local British business community held one of their usual lunches to which the envoy was invited. After a good portion of Molo lamb and baked potatoes perhaps served with the aid of a few Brookeside dairy products the envoy gave us quite a mouthful.
All of us were left choking on our supper when we had it in the evening news and some of our dignitaries probably had a bit of indigestion. The envoy served a dish that was quite unpalatable to the ruling elite but since then ordinary Kenyans have been stepping on each others toes falling over each other as they wait to devour the latest offerings in the local dailies.
Clay the British envoy is a man of slight build and steady gait probably pointing to an austere diet and fine English leather shoes currently we are still trying to digest his surprising taste in words.
However the way to avoid verbal menus or lectures from the donor community is to stop relying on their spoon, feeding and to engage in serious work otherwise we may become stuffed with over dependence.
The government has an easy choice really, bring strategic investors and the Nairobi Stock Exchange into all sectors of the economy especially the energy and communications sectors and watch this stakeholders create wealth for it as the Kenya airways, the mobile phone companies, the breweries, tobacco companies and the multinational banks have done or continue to "protect" local industries by meddling in business and thereby curbing wealth and perpetuating their dependence on donors. They should emulate the airline, if the airline is a big, deal one wonders what can be done with the port, rail the companies mentioned above and others of similar stature
Finally a local columnist called Sunny Bindra once claimed that a pig had crushed into the parliamentary clock tower if true the honourable members may have indulged in succulent spare ribs. In his ancestral India there was a scandal sometime back called Bofors, which involved defence contracts I am not sure whether anybody was ever prosecuted or convicted but it portrayed the ruling party as corrupt in the minds of voters and led to its electoral defeat. Perhaps our government can learn from that and clean house to avoid a similar situation.
